One of my yearly themes this year is about fun, though for the last few weeks everything seems to be working in a direction that is .. not fun, not very joyful.  What would it take for a little joy?  I start the morning hopeful and ended a little blah by evening.

Sometimes things do get overwhelming.  With a full-time job, two young kids, crazy schedules, a weaker immune system and everything else in between, living fun or having joy, seemed a far out task.

Yet, I can’t be the only one overwhelmed at various points in life. 

And if so, then how would someone living from joy, act?

If I am living from joy today (just today), how would I walk, talk and move? How will I brush my teeth or comb my hair? 

If I am living from joy today (just today), how would I turn the key, type on the keyboard, talk to my kids, nod to the passerby?

If I am living from joy today (just today), how would I flip the book, eat my lunch, drink my water, stir the tea?

If I am living from joy today (just today), how would I react to the next email, the next assignment, the next phone call?

And then repeat it tomorrow.

And replace the word joy with fun, or wholeheartedness, or inspired, or inspiring, or passionate, or compassionate, or vulnerable, or alive.

Watch what happens.

Following the trend of my previous post on “From how-to to why-to“, we move on to the trend of from what-if to just-be.

What if
Some of you may know that I spent years figuring when I’m going to start writing this blog. For years, I thought of the title, opened the wordpress account and waited. In the meantime, the what-ifs in my head grew bigger and more creative. What if I can’t find anything to write? What if no one likes it? What if they laugh at me? What if it’s horrible? And the oh-so-classic: what if I’m not good enough to write?

What-ifs serve a function – to allow you plan ahead so you have contingency plans. But I guess when it comes to achieving certain goals in my life or forging new ground (at least new ground to me), it handicaps. Because what-ifs can be creative, anything under the sun, even if it has very little probability of being true. We love a classic drama but it does nothing for me and my dreams when it exists only in my head.

So where does the shift happen?

Just be
In surrendering to the process that is, the fears that come up and disguise as what-ifs, that is the part of myself that wants to protect. It remains a part of me, and I am grateful to have that. Because it’s a part of me, it’s not something I can just remove or cut away.

This requires me to be present, to stay in the moment and to be strongly aware of myself, my reactions, my beliefs. I find that initially, I move in and out of this state very quickly and it takes a lot of effort. I haven’t found the point where it gets effortless, but with practice it’s getting easier to bring myself back to the present moment. The result, is that I just-be.

Who’d knew that with all the running around in what-ifs, all it took was to learn to settle in the flow and still of just-be?

At this point I make a commitment to write either before and/or on Mondays, because it really is about getting the whole week off to a good start , celebrating the great moments of living a good life at the end of the week and then some.

As I gradually starting searching about loving what I do, and doing what I love or just learning the love the life that I am leading right now, at each moment, I have slowly moved from the how-to’s to the why-to’s.

From the how-to

What steps do I need to do, what are the action plans do I need to take, what are the considerations… The list goes on, and (not surprisingly) the list never gets fillled up or completely ticked off.  I spent so much time on the lists, I basically stayed in the same spot for the entire duration.

Frankly, I do not believe that throwing planning and considerations out the window works.  Everything is about balance – extremes at some points, never always in the boring middle.  Balance, rather than the average of everything, is about not getting stuck at the extremes.

And here is where I was getting stuck in a comfortable zone turning to be an extreme zone, planning, re-planning, drawing steps, learning the mechanics of how to put one step forward, while the world of action zoomed past me.

To why-to

Now here is the paradox (and I do love when some do juxtapose against each other): while staying in the how-to and getting stuck in one spot, the way to move forward was always in the why-to which originated in the same spot. 

Everyone (together with me now) …huh?

Breaking it down – the way forward, to zip into the line of action, to embrace the flow of life, to move, to dream & then to create … lay in embracing the “why”.  What drives the motivation, why do I keep searching?  By bringing everything to this moment, being present, the “why” easily surfaces.

Because I love to dream.

Because I love to create.

Because I love to expand.

Because I love the flow of nature, not struggling against the tide.

Because I seek to understand.

Because…

Journeys evolve because we keep moving forward at each step of the way, and the evolution allows us to grow.  Which is why it is oh-so-important to fully comprehend, ingrain, live the phrase: that it’s about the journey, not only about the destination.

The thing about writing a blog is that you spend a lot of time thinking of the topics, how to craft the blog, how to share it, what’s the best way to present it.

Most importantly, I keep going back to why I write here.

I write for many reasons:
1. I love to write.
2. I believe “Loving Monday Mornings” is a great shift in the perspective of our lives, which can change it from blah to wow.
3. I believe we all can find what we love to do or do what we love, and drawing stories and inspirations from others is an essential part of that journey.
4. I believe I’m not perfect, that I don’t have or have not found the perfectly formula so I hope that in exploring my writing, you will appreciate that someone goes through the same struggles as you do finding your ‘own path in life’.
5. I write so that one day, my children may see my journey through my eyes and understand it in ways that I (feel) I still do not know how to communicate well verbally yet.
6. I write, because I’m learning each day.

And you might read for similar or different reasons. So, welcome to “Loving Monday Mornings” and I’m glad to be writing here.

A friend asked me recently, when was the last time you let go? She didn’t mean go crazy or out of boundaries or completely changed my personality.

She meant that corporate is as corporate does, does it really have to translate to every part of my life?

Her simple question & challenge was: how hard do you laugh with your kids?

Truly I can’t say it was a belly laughter. The odd thing is that my daughter is entirely capable of this – the laugh till she feels compelled to shake her head crazily, because everything is the “best in the world”, “funniest in the world” and so on.

I don’t even know if it was laughter or just some odd sounds that don’t string together into consonants and vowels.

So I challenged myself, once a day – find an opportunity to laugh with my kids, deep-belly, stitch-inducing, tear-producing type of laugh. I will do this for one week.

I looked at the challenge squarely in the eye. Seriously for me. this is not going to be easy.

While Loving Monday Morningsis about shifting the perspective on Mondays, that shouldn’t lessen the enjoyment of Fridays & the weekends.

TGIF & the weekend too!