Relax: If you can’t control it, you can’t screw it up

Sometimes I think we get it the wrong way round, we think that we can’t screw it up as long we don’t control it. So we conclude that the best way is to take an either-or stance: to either control everything or to give up and decide that by not taking part (ie. not controlling anything intentionally), nothing can be considered to be screwed up by us.

A round-a-bout way of thinking, no doubt, and one that makes me suspicious because it (seemingly) creates only two options. This, or that, and nothing in between.  What I have discovered living on both ends was that there was always something missing.

Taking the Either-Or Stance

We try to control everything so nothing screws up.  And very quickly, we learn that a lot of things are out of our control, how others think, respond, the nature, environment around us.

So we move to the other end, and decided that it’s best to not take part, not control anything, so that in that way, we can’t be said to have (actually) screwed up anything.  Life starts to be lived on default, and because life moves on and we are relinquish our need to make decisions, we wonder why things seem to keep “happening to us”.

Getting the Order Right

For the things we can control, we show up wholeheartedly.  For things we can’t control – relax, because we can’t screw it up.  It is what it is – we can’t make it something it is not.

We can however, control how we are, think, respond or react, and most importantly, what we can create.

So relax. When we are spending energy controlling something external of us or worrying about screwing up, we are wasting that energy to otherwise create something worthy to call our own.

Now relax.  Release the tension, flow into ease, and watch how much more you can create.


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